*****

I had three classes today.

In the first, we watched Crash. (2004 not 1996 [still got to see titties].) I managed to not cry, even through Bird York at the end.

My second class didn’t happen because my professor didn’t show up.

Then the third didn’t happen because I didn’t want to wait three hours for it to start. Got ice cream with my mom instead. BOO-YA!

Neil Hamburger on Wednesday. Adam Carolla on Friday.

If ever I became famous and there were a lot of photographs of me available, I’d hope that there’d be a tumblr dedicated to the asymmetry of my breasts.

Is my uncle’s excited exclamation of “chocolate!” every time he sees a black guy considered reverse racism?

globochem:

just wanna eat a lot of delicious food that of what is not good for me, and watch a lot of louis ck on the tv

My aunt and uncle have a cottage that my grandparents live in during the summer. It has four beds, as well as a fold-out sofa. The guest house has another two beds and an additional fold-out sofa.

Two years ago my dad and I went up to visit. When we arrived, we were told that we’d be staying in the motorhome. There’s a motorhome that sits next to the cottage. It’s from the ’80s, isn’t properly insulated and smells of mildew.

Tomorrow my brother and his girlfriend are going up. They’ve already been told that they’ll be staying in the motorhome.

What I’m trying to say is, my grandparents all old people are jerks.

Someone remind me to make a list of all of the bands and comedians I’ve seen over the last few years so that I can fervidly masturbate to it.